Jeanne-ology: Jeanne's Day Off
(Hey, it's Rebecca. It's Thursday, so time for Jeanne-ology. There's so many things you can say about Jeanne (she's hilarious and clever and the most determined person I know when she sets her mind to something). She's also seriously impatient and she passed that winning trait right on to me. So when I read this story, I think "yep, yep, yep, I hear you, sista"). Enjoy!
*****
On Thursdays, I usually take a day away from the shop. Today was no exception. I was enjoying my morning coffee, sitting in my pajamas, and planning out my day. Mid-morning, my husband Plum, said that we needed to go down to the Lake because his prescription was mailed to our post office box. If you ask me why we still have a post office box in Camdenton, I couldn't give you a definite answer. Plum has had that post office box for years, long before I met him and he doesn't want to give it up. The same goes with our bank accounts. I can't say that I have been bothered that we haven't changed the banks and post office box to our Columbia location, but today I reached the point of no return. Why? Because of time, speed and heat index.
My husband likes to drive and to say the least, he is a Sunday driver. Once he decided that we needed to go to the Lake, it was about 10 am. One hour and 10 minutes LATER, we were finally ready to go. (I was ready to leave in 10 minutes, but he doesn't like to be rushed. By the time he dressed (20 minutes), took his pills and vitamins ( 10 minutes), looked at the weather report (5 minutes), changed his shirt because I thought he looked unkempt (15 minutes), filled his water container ( 5 minutes) and located his hat and sunglasses with one last trip to the bathroom, he ready to leave. I was sitting at the computer passing the time away looking at Wayfair deals. He sat down at the kitchen table and started watching TV. Why are you sitting down? I am waiting on you, he said. Whaat? Waiting on me! We were in the car in five minutes.
I love Plum, but he is the slowest driver I have ever seen in my life. I could my feel my anxiety mounting. The air conditioner was blowing full speed while traffic was passing us as though we were parked on the shoulder. Feeling my anxiety, Plum says that I need to calm down and enjoy the ride. Maybe if we drove a little faster, maybe just 60 mph, it would help calm my anxiety! He sped up and I begin to calm down. However, 15 miles later, we back to 50 miles an hour.
And then let's see, we stop at Ashland (bathroom break), then Eldon for more water and a another break at a Camdenton gas station for another bathroom break. l saw a glimpse of myself in the side mirror and I looked deranged! My hair was flat and limp, my lipstick had worn off and my clothes seem to be sticking to me. I was swollen like a tick on a dog!
I couldn't speak to Plum because knew I would say things that I would regret. Plum looks at me and says "are you okay?". I didn't respond. He never said anything. I think he saw my emotional lid about ready to blow off. He started driving faster, at least the speed limit. He turned the air conditioner on high and positioned the air vents toward me, looking straight ahead at the road and never glancing sideways at me.
Once we retrieved his medicine, I took over the driver seat. I didn't ask him to drive, I was in a take over mood. Weaving in and out of traffic with the air conditioner blasting away, I began to slowly calm down. The faster I drove, the better I felt. Plum did say at one point was the speed limit was, and I growled. Nothing more was said.
When I pulled into home, he sighed and said he was glad to be home. ME TOO, I said. By the way, thanks for letting me take over the drive. Either you were going to murder me on the way down or kill us both on the way home. I didn't have a choice, he said.
It was still ninety nine degrees when we arrived home. Once home and the coolness of the house with a cool shower, I begin to feel normal again. However, I counted four rolls of toilet paper destroyed in the living room, compliments of our puppy, Dixie.
It's so nice to have a day off.