No Favors.
It’s time again to take a deep dive into our Google analytics to see which keyword searches landed visitors on the World Pie Domination blog site. As always, the results never fail to disappoint:
Dead Bird Omen: Is a dead bird not the universal ominous omen? Has Jeanne been leading me astray all these years? I thought everyone who saw a dead bird immediately said “great, what now?” No?
No More Needles: I often reference the Dr. Brandt Needles No More under eye cream that promises to reduce puffiness from lack of sleep and too much worry. I still sing the praises, but there isn’t an under eye cream in this entire world that could have made me look less tired over the last two weeks.
Commercial Pie Oven: Jeanne announced last week that when we get a second location, she plans to install a walk-in oven. Um, ok. I told her to let me know when she finds a million dollars and the patience to get a permit for that sucker in this town.
Justin Bieber Blog: Does he have one? I belieber no.
Pure Force Dishwasher: Basically, this is the model of the dishwasher we lease…though “pure force” might be a marketing reach. I prefer “functional utilitarianism”.
Kate Gosslin: I feel like she takes a lot of flack for that unfortunate haircut, but the person who agreed to cut it like that did her no favors.
UPS Store, Columbia, Missouri: Fortunately, it is located just four doors down from PJP Nifong. Super handy for when you need to fill up Hyvee carts with shipping boxes and roll them down the sidewalk without a hint of embarrassment or shame.
Fold Like a Cheap Suit: Basically me whenever we close orders and someone has a very sad story about why they NEED a pie.
Dispensary Deals Near Me: To be honest, I hadn’t considered that dispensaries offer deals. I am too distracted by the rapid build, less-than-modest, coming-soon dispensary right near our storefront. Meanwhile, no Home Goods or TJ Maxx on the other side of town because of zoning restrictions.
Really Full, Lotta Sap: The gift that keeps on giving, Clark.
