VooDoo Economics

So, I spent a better part of the day working on a business plan for a possible expansion to a larger space.  And if you have read here for long, then you know I’ve been putting this task off for a sweet forever (actually, my whole life…because this is the first time I’ve written one).  And I know that most people write one before starting a business and most people don’t mind doing so, but it’s always been a “no, dawg” for me on the whole concept.  

So, the Internet is full of advice about business plans and templates to download…but I didn’t read one thing remotely interesting or compelling on any site.  And I know that there are so many resources in Columbia to help with this very chore, but I like to make things as difficult as possible for my isolationist self, so I consulted the Small Business Administration website and then started writing.

And as I suspected, writing the content was actually pretty easy because you know who knows a lot about PJP?  ME.  And since Jeanne and I have handheld PJP every single day from her opening day until the present…well, I had a lot of things to say about growth, direction, long-term plans, and strategy.  (In full disclosure, it took everything in my soul to not answer the question “What Are Your Long-Term Goals?” with just “#worldpiedomination”.)  It was sort of like if someone asked you to write 10 pages about why you have a great kid and why you want that kid to have access to opportunities and happiness as an adult.  In short, that stuff just writes itself.

I did laugh though because one question was “How Will You Communicate With Your Customers?”  Maybe I should just print out five years of blog posts, put them in a wheelbarrow, roll them over to the bank, and ask when I should pick up the check.  Holla.

What I haven’t finished is any of the financial parts because I’m really wavering on just writing “please call our accountant” as the answer to balance sheet questions.  Actually, that whole part seems odd…if my accountant says we can afford a much larger space and all new equipment and additional payroll, then I don’t need a loan…right?  So, we need the accountant to say we need money (because we do) and then I need to write about all the extra things we will sell to pay for the extra expenses (because we will have to) in order to get a loan that we use to expand to pay the payment as our revenue increases?  Huh.  

I did not finish the plan, mainly because I guess we need to list out all the equipment that we want in the new space and that is basically a black hole research project.  I will tell you that Jeanne has moved past walk-in freezers and moved on to warming drawers, meaning she would like both on the theory they can ship on the same freight truck and therefore, we are actually saving money.

Ask the accountant.