Glacial Pace
It’s time again to take a deep dive into our Google analytics to see which keyword searches landed visitors on the World Pie Domination blog site. As always, the results never fail to disappoint:
Missouri Orthopedic Institute: MOI fixed my plantar fasciitis (well, MOI and the fine folks at Hoka, who make the best shoes for standing all day on concrete). And MOI fixed Jean’s foot cellulitis…so we give MOI a 10/10. I don’t know why you would read here to learn more about MOI, but I’m a subject matter expert in Hokas AND cellulitis, so follow me here for more tips. Ahem.
Sunset Pie: This is a two pound pie offered by Whole Foods that includes peaches, strawberries, and mangos (and surprisingly, palm oil). At any rate, I’ve already made the menu for Thursday’s Epic Pie Tasting or I would include this because it sounds either amazing or terrible and that’s really the point of Epic Pie Tasting.
What Color Do Geese Hate? I have no idea. Actually, I’ve never thought about it. Are they like bulls and charge the color red? Google is inconclusive.
Days Without Incident: In our earliest days, I would track how many days we could go without crying. (Spoiler alert: It wasn’t many.) But now, I can go months. That could be because we’ve gotten better at this or because my threshold for what makes me cry is so much higher now.
Old Bay Goldfish near Kansas City, Missouri: Look, I don’t even know.
Once in a Blue Moon Moon Pie: Every six months or so, someone will ask if we make moon pies. But a moon pie isn’t a pie and this is #worldpiedomination, so no. Also, marshmallow fluff skeeves me out.
Food Handler Card Columbia, MO: In a pre-pandemic world, you would have to go to the county health department and watch a horrifying video of people committing food safety violations like carelessly dipping their ponytail into a vat of soup before taking a test to get a food handler’s card. In a post-pandemic world, you log online and watch a horrifying video of people committing food safety violations like careless dipping their ponytail into a vat of soup before taking an online test to get a food handler’s card.
Freezer Trailer: In a the restaurant world, a freezer trailer parked outside means that you have a big event to prepare for or your refrigeration has gone out and you are trying every single method possible to stay open while it is being fixed. I feel either in my soul.
Glacial Pace: Our slowest months move at a glacial pace. Our busiest months move in a blink of an eye. Time is vortex at PJP.
Ecolab MPPA Charges: I don’t know what mppa charges are, but I can tell you that Ecolab charges for literally everything. I’ll probably get a bill for typing the word “Ecolab” here within the next week.