Small Transgressions
I suggested to Jason that he write tonight’s post because he has been annoyed by a whole litany of things today, but he just looked at me and said I was adding to the stress of the day. So I’m ghostwriting this post to tell you about all the things that broke his soul a little bit because all of these things have already broken my soul in our earliest days and now I’m immune to these small transgressions. For the most part.
The Missouri Department of Labor sent a bill for two cents. Literally .02 cents. Like, they printed the paper, used an envelope, and purchased a stamp to mail us a bill for .02 cents. And because Jason is a rule abiding person, he will write a check for .02 cents and use an envelope and purchase a stamp to mail a .02 cent payment. (In full disclosure, I probably would have just overpaid our next quarterly payment by .02 cents and hoped it all shook out in the end. Or I would have passive aggressively taped two pennies to the bill and mailed it back.)
And then we had a health inspection at West. Like me, he also suffers from low key fear of the health department for no solid reason. It was fine, of course, but in the moment it is never fun because who knows what new rules they have come up with since the last visit. Now we can’t store eggs above cheese in the refrigerator. That’s new.
Immediately after, he had a fire inspection at West. That’s fine, except we had to duct tape an extension cord across the floor and the fire department doesn’t endorse duct taped extension cords, but then he explained our weird freezer situation.
The new freezer at West keeps blowing a circuit. I’ll spare you the dumb details of the story, but in short, apparently you can’t plug a commercial freezer into a GFI plug and that’s all we have on that wall at West. So, I don’t know why it took a year and a half to start blowing out a circuit, but it did. And now we need an electrician to put a normal outlet on that wall. As we all know, I’m destined to appear on Price Is Right and my skill set tells me that will cost $650. We will see.
And at home, the spring in the garage door broke and had to be repaired. And then our water was acting weird, so he called the Consolidated Water District for country people and it said to press zero for a water emergency after hours but Jason didn’t consider low water pressure to be an emergency. But since I tend to run the washing machine, the dishwasher, and deep condition my hair at the same time, I very much considered it to be a press zero for emergency situation, so he also had to deal with me.
He probably misses his old job tonight, where meetings filled his days but he didn’t write .02 checks or duct tape extension cords to non-GFI plugs across the room. But that’s just my ghostwriting opinion…